Growing up I've always been quite independent. Being an only child to a single parent, I was alone a lot of the time. Mum spent a lot of time working and trying to keep us afloat. I do and always will appreciate what she has done for me, for us to be able to live the life that we currently do. Love you mummy. But this meant that I needed to mature quite quickly, so I guess I did, but not really. I have a fear of trying new things alone. I heavily rely on others to take me places, and when they aren't free or can't do it, I become extremely disappointed in them and it's like this upset sad thought at the back of my head. Whenever someone else mentions the place, I immediately remember that time, when my friend failed to take me there. It's horrible, kinda selfish and I just don't like it.
What's wrong with doing things alone? I often go watch movies alone in the cinemas. Yet a friend of mine recently called me weird for doing so. It's not weird, I wanted to watch a movie, no one else was free so I decided to enjoy it in the company of myself. It's not weird.
When I started university, I felt the sudden dread whenever it was lunch time. I had to eat alone, whether it was on the lawn or at a restaurant or in the food court. I needed to eat alone, because I didn't have any friends yet to eat with me. At first I thought crap, they are all going to know I have no friends, and judge me, I need to hide myself, my face from the embarrassment. Even though no one cared, a lot of other people were also eating alone, I just over thought. Now one of my favourite things is to sit with my meal, alone, somewhere sunny and eat in my own company. It's just as good as sitting with someone else, and it's a great time to think, to relax, to breath and take in the sunshine.
So, here it is, the big reveal. I've decided to go on single dates, well that's what I'm calling them anyways. These are dates where I take myself somewhere I really like, really enjoy or just somewhere completely new and different. These could be as simple as going to the galleries to see an exhibition of an artist I like. It could be trying out the new cake shop that my friend recommended. These could be buying my favourite snacks and finding a nice location for a picnic. I'm doing this as a way for me to really embrace my singleness but also to really enjoy the company of myself and no one else. I think this is as important as enjoying time with others. If you hate being by yourself or your own company, it's going to be pretty awkward and hard for you.
So here's my challenge to you all. Is there a place that you really want to go right now? Someplace that you saved for someday, or for someone to come along and take you to? Think closer to home, if it's overseas that's great too, but I'm thinking somewhere closer. Take yourself there, take time to indulge in your own company there. Mine is the zoo, I've planned my little day trip alone up to the Zoo in a few weeks. I'm going to pack some lunch, take my camera and venture out. ALONE! *Gasps* I'll be okay, and so will you :) Leave me a comment if you do decide to challenge yourself with me. Love you all, stay safe, stay happy <3 Jinny out!